On a sunny March 2nd afternoon in a classroom at the Wong Tai Sin Community Center, Tony bounced in with father Rickie and little brother Gareth right at his heels.
Dressed in black tracksuit with orange trims, 17-year-old Tony was more than ready for his cooking class. He could not wait to begin. But, before all else, he posted his first question to tutor May Ng. Today the first of his long line of fixations was whether he could invite a friend to see him cook.
Three years ago to the day, one of his fixations had propelled him to get off a bus midway to this destination, rush across a busy traffic black spot and be hit by a truck.
It was a Wednesday like any other school day in 2005. Tony had left King George V, an ESF school with special education in Ho Man Tin in the early afternoon for swimming practice in Kowloon Park. He was to take bus 81C to Tai Wai, Shatin and change to 88K to Fo Tan. He did.
He also did the thing he was not supposed to do. He got off at Lucky Plaza on Wang Pok Street in Shatin town centre, midway before his usual stop.
A police report says Tony rushed onto the road without a second glance at the traffic.
Bam! A truck hit him hard. The time was 7.30 p.m.
He was conscious enough to tell the police his mom’s number. His mother later said Tony has a remarkable talent for numbers, unlike many kids with his condition.
Icy, the mother, was in a prayer group with two female friends she warmly addresses as sisters when the unwelcome call from the police broke the group’s otherwise tranquil meeting.
Rickie, the father, was quickly alerted. He was fortunately in the vicinity when he received the call and arrived at the accident scene just in time to accompany Tony to the Prince of Wales Hospital.
Gareth, the five-year-old brother, was summoned to the phone and was told mom and dad would not be home any time soon as Tony had a car accident.
In the casualty ward, Icy and Rickie met.
“I told the police Tony was autistic. Immediately they said they would not rule out the possibility of prosecution because of our negligence,” Icy said without a trace of emotion.
“Rickie and I didn’t hug, or cry or anything when we saw each other at casualty. We just said ‘this thing’ really had happened.”
‘This thing’ refers to the incident on winter solstice in 2004. Tony was let off one hour early but had not arrived home by 8 p.m. Panicky Icy called his coach. A while later Tony got home but he wouldn’t say where he had been.
Thinking about that day now, both Icy and Rickie thought that they had a premonition then, but had done nothing to stop it from happening.
The doctors at Prince of Wales weren’t compassionate enough for the guilt-ridden couple. Mom and Dad even thought them arrogant. They were given patchy information on injuries sustained— fractured bone in Tony’s left leg and skin ripped on the thigh of his right leg when it scraped the road surface. But there was no imminent danger and no need for an operation yet.
The sight of Tony in bed all bandaged up was not what shocked Icy when she saw her son in a men’s ward upstairs. It was a scene like any hospital one. What shocked her was that he was strapped into his bed, to prevent him from moving and banging around and hurting himself more. Kind words were not on offer that evening at 11. Instead there were plenty of cold hard seats outside along the corridor.
Onto one Icy sat.
Somebody had to go home to Gareth and off went Rickie.
The night dragged on.
Thoughts of how Tony was trained to take on the task of getting home himself and be independent like any other teenager his age never left Icy.
Dr Icy Lee is a normally calm, collected and analytical academic who has been involved in teacher training for many years in many academic institutions. Would she have let her son get home by himself without proper preparations and guidance? The word ‘negligence’ the police used could never have been applicable in Tony’s case. An intelligent couple could never have been neglectful of their children.
After that incident on winter solstice in 2004, Rickie followed Tony during several of his rides home and didn’t find any unusual behavior. Although a few of Tony’s teammates did mention Tony was obsessed with looking at car license plates to the point that he sometimes did not take care of his own safety on the road, Icy did nothing to take away Tony’s freedom to get home himself.
That was what bothered Icy on the night in the hospital by herself. Could the answer be the couple was too busy to schedule time for pick-up and delivery? Was it possible to take away freedom once it was given? In the case of Tony, would he be willing to comply given his tempestuous character at the time? Would it be because it would have cost a lot more to hire another domestic helper?
And the one question Icy could not stomach. Did she love her son enough to care for his safety?
In the summer of 2004, Icy had the idea to train her son to use the public transport to get home after his swim lesson by himself. Tony was tall and muscular and looked every way a capable teenager albeit he was autistic. But it was not his height or physique that Icy took into consideration. It was his sense of direction that impressed his mother. The ‘technicalities’ Icy mentioned refers to Tony’s ability to locate the bus-stop, the bus, the way to pay his way by octopus card, where to change to another bus, where to get off at the final stop and walk home. The route home offered no complexities at the time. It was also supposed to be safe.
Icy and Rickie took turns shadowing Tony for two weeks after he was told he could do it on his own. That was mid-August.
“I thought he was willing and he was ready. By ‘willing’ I didn’t mean he initiated the whole thing, I mean he did it a few times on his own and he told me it was fun and he wanted to do it. I had never imagined there would have been such complications.”
Icy still could not believe she would have thought Tony would stay on the bus all the way home without any mischief.
In the middle of the night, a nurse saying a doctor had come to give consultation on Tony’s injuries roused Icy. Icy could still remember the doctor was short and stocky and he gave assurances that there would be no need for immediate operation. Still, the news did not induce sleep.
When the sleepless night ended at 6 in the morning, Rickie came back and they were summoned to Tony’ bedside to hear an orthopedist give his opinions. Dr Bobby Ng was all somber when he looked at Tony’s x-rays and sternly pronounced the need for an immediate operation. The couple was told of the urgency because the bone just below the knee in Tony’s left leg was fractured into small pieces. The doctor even said if in the course of the operation, blood could not reach that part of the leg, then the leg had to be amputated.
Lightening and thunder flashed through Icy’s head. Her son already suffered from one kind of disability. He certainly did not need another.
If Icy and Rickie were expecting a compassionate doctor, they would not find any trace of that in the orthopedist. Dr Ng, in all his manners, gave the impression he was there to make things right but not to comfort. He even arrogantly told the couple that if he was not the one to do the operation, nobody in the hospital had the ‘guts’ to either.
At 10 a.m., Tony was wheeled into the operating room. The seriousness of Tony’s condition descended on the couple. They prayed in the waiting room and they cried their hearts out.
No news came from the operating room. They waited and waited.
Icy went home for a shower. At home by herself, she finally broke down. In the shower she cried hysterically, overwhelmed by guilt and worry. She screamed her lungs out and was blanketed with the darkest gloom ever. She reproached herself again and again before she was finally able to reclaim her sanity.
The operation was proclaimed a success when Tony was ferried out at 10 at night. He had both legs intact. A huge relief swept over Icy and Rickie. Their prayer to God was answered. They were thankful.
Within half an hour, Dr Ng came to explain what happened. He was thorough in telling the couple how tiny fragments of bone had to be removed carefully and that initial skin grafting had to be done to the damaged skin on the other leg as well.
Icy and Rickie saw the doctor in another light, that he was a caring doctor after all.
The next day after visiting Tony at the hospital, Icy twisted her ankle when she got on a mini-bus. Her foot was so swollen by the time she got home that she had to be taken to Union Hospital and had to spend a lonely night there herself. Although she had to walk in crutches, her one-week sick leave gave her the time she thought she did not have with her son and the time to reconcile her guilt.
Icy now calls that week a blessing in disguise.
For an intelligent woman who thinks efficiency is her hallmark, Icy was given the chance to make patience her number one task.
It took five and a half months before Tony was discharged from the hospital. He went home at the end of August. The healing process had strengthened Tony’s character. He still does not talk about his feelings nor has he divulged where he wanted to go the evening of the accident. But the pain he endured with two more skin-grafting operations and the cleansing of the wound somehow tamed his temper.
Before the accident, Tony was not able to answer the phone. Now he makes phone calls as told to announce his whereabouts. Now Icy retains the service of the Rainbow Express Scheme for the pick-up and delivery service at a fee of $50 an hour. Now even if the escort does not show in person, Tony is being shadowed and he knows it. Now he believes his mother when she says God is watching him.
Both Tony and his little brother Gareth are more careful when crossing roads. Still Tony has not asked to be completely on his own again.
The next project Icy has in mind for Tony is a food and beverage course with Caritas when he leaves KGV this September. Then, maybe a housekeeping course. She hopes with the cooking skills and the household cleaning skills, Tony will be able to replace the domestic helper at home.
On March 26, 2008, Tony and Gareth returned home at 1 p.m. from their swimming lessons to find mom waiting to take them to lunch at a McDonald’s. It was Gareth’s eighth birthday. Gareth and mom were talking about which secondary school would give the best chance for university while Tony was quietly satisfying his appetite with burgers and fries.
“You could have my fries too,” Tony was told.
Tony nodded happily.






